Still Stone

I’m back from South Africa, from an extraordinary trek in wilderness of the Imfolozi game reserve.  More on that soon…

Meanwhile, last night in the Buddha Hall at the UTA Institute, we traveled again with the essential oil blend Stone.  It’s always interesting when the same blend keeps coming up (this is the one from last month, and you can read more about it in the blog before this one).

Stone is about who I am in my unchanging core.  Who am I when all of the extra things hanging on me, like lichen, moss, dirt, and little plants are gone?

Here’s the poem, again.  Sending love until next time ♡


because it is our will.
Joined will.
Emanating will.
Solid in the moving fluid.
From this place:
clarity and direction;
in and out.

Sacred Stones


Perhaps it was the full, super-moon in Pisces, or perhaps it was my long absence from the Buddha Hall at the UTA. Maybe it came from the effortless feeling I have these days when I offer sounds. In any case, Tuesday night’s event was incredibly full–of stillness. Full of nothingness. Very rich! Thanks to all of you who came and co-created the space.

The essential oil blend chosen for our journey was “Stone.” This is one of my favorites. Some of you have heard the story about this one: when I first received the oils on Maui from my dear friend, Joana Johnston, she introduced me to them by letting me experience them without knowing which blend I was smelling. I got a blend one day that made me want to vomit. It was so intense! Of course, I was curious which one it was. Joana wisely told me I didn’t need to know, that it would be clear when the right time came.

A few months later, back in Germany, I was continuing to experiment with the plant intelligences in the blends. I chose “Stone” one day, and absolutely fell in love with it. A few hours later, I was on the phone with Joana and told her this. She just laughed and said, “Guess which one made you feel sick two months ago?!?”

“Stone” is about who we are, in our unchangeable, unshakeable core. At times when we don’t feel secure about who we are, or we don’t like ourselves, “Stone” can be hard to take. When we know and love ourselves, this blend is bliss-full. This is a perfect example of how plant intelligence can assist us in self-exploration.

Here is the poem:



because it is our will.

Joined will.

Emanating will.


Solid in the moving fluid.

From this place:

clarity and direction;

in and out.

I’m writing this from St Lucia, South Africa, where I’m about to follow Anna Breytenbach and Peter Raimondo on a trek in the Imfolozi Game Reserve focused on animal communication. Watch this space for blogs after I get back, in late September!

Sofa Hangouts with Simon Paul Sutton

I “sat” with Simon Paul Sutton at his “Sofa Hangout” via Google+ on July 4 and 11.

In the first session, we discussed voice, individual freedom, aspects of our search for truth about reality, and many other topics.  For those of you who’d like to hear a couple of my unreleased songs, at 34:00 I sang “Nothing Personal” and at 1:07:00 I sang “The Language of One” and finished with sound from the 19″ Aqua Gold alchemy bowl.

In the second, shorter session, we talked about the film “Monthlies,” and how much difference a positive image about menstruation makes for girls and women in our lives.

Thanks, Simon, for all of the love you pour into every one of your many projects!


For our journey last Thursday night, the essential oil blend “poised” was chosen.


Balance off.
To recover.
Balance off.
Falling, to recover.
Balance in falling:
Instant recovery.

This reminds me of Laurie Anderson’s piece, “Walking and Falling,” especially this part.

“Poised” is difficult to translate into German.  Here are some photos that might help convey the meaning:









It’s about being graceful, ready for anything, on the edge, perfectly balanced, and waiting.

What comes next in this adventure?

The Goose is Out!

All the situations that I see as problems have been created by my mind or our collective minds, by the rules that define the box that my mind tells me I have to live inside.

Osho (aka Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh) gave a brilliant, extemporaneous series of talks in early 1981. You can find them in a book called, “The Goose is Out.” This story comes from page 2:

“A great philosophical official, Riko, once asked the strange Zen master, Nansen, to explain to him the old kōan of the goose in the bottle.

“‘If a man puts a gosling into a bottle,’ said Riko, ‘and feeds him until he is full-grown, how can the man get the goose out without killing it or breaking the bottle?’

“Nansen gave a great clap with his hands and shouted, ‘Riko!’

“‘Yes, Master!’ said the official, with a start.

“‘See!’ said Nansen, ‘The goose is out!'”

This is a kōan, a puzzle that the mind cannot answer. Spiritual masters use them to show the impossibility of understanding life with our minds.

Over and over in life, I am faced with situations just like the goose in the bottle. My mind creates these dilemmas that have no answer. (Why do I create puzzles that have no solution? The mind loves them and wants something to chew on!) Our society tells me (and us) that in these situations, we are supposed to hide ourselves, or disappear.

For example, what is wrong with nudity? If a person is young and beautiful, especially if she is female, she is supposed to cover this in some way because if she doesn’t, somehow this beauty becomes cheap. We are taught as young women that we should be “hard to get” so that our beauty isn’t “wasted.” If we flaunt this beauty, society says that we are asking to be raped, that this beauty will be taken from us because we didn’t protect it. Or, even if we’re not flaunting it, and simply being beautiful within the boundaries of what our particular society says is okay, if we shine and we aren’t careful, our innocence will be stolen from us.

(This makes as much sense as telling a flower, like this one, that it should hide because someone might come and pick it!)


When we’re older, and our bodies aren’t so “beautiful” anymore, then we’re not supposed to be naked (or show as much of our bodies) because we’re now “ugly.” Society says it’s distasteful to show ugliness. If we have cellulite, or a big belly, or scars, we should hide these things because they’re ugly.

So, on both sides, nudity or going without the appropriate level of clothing covering us is inacceptable. So we hide.

This happens in every aspect of our lives! It’s not just about clothing! We change the way we move, so that it’s acceptable. We change the way we speak, so that we fit in. We cut our hair, we choose our clothing, we buy the right cars, we root for the right football team. We act in ways that we think will get us the best jobs, the best lives. And it’s all about trying to get to a safe place, in which we can relax. When I get that husband, when I get to that level of my company and make enough money, when I am able to afford that apartment, when I have that baby, when I get the Academy Award, when I win an Olympic gold medal…

Why are we hiding? It’s over, guys! We don’t need to hide anymore! The goose is out! As Paul Lowe entitled his book, The Experiment is Over!!!!!

Hello, hello! I’m looking for playmates. Anyone want to join a game in which we’re all being ourselves? It’s really, really relaxing to let go of trying to be someone different than who you are. What a fucking relief. Whew. That was an intense game. Now I want to play something more fun!

Anyone in?


The energy during last night’s “Sensual Journey Inside” at the Osho UTA Institute in Cologne was especially strong. I was fresh from staffing the Path of Love which ended on Wednesday, and the room, my bowls, and my heart were all in a super-charged state even before we began.  It took all of us quite a while to come back!  Thanks to all who joined me.

Appropriate to the Scorpio full moon this week, the essential oil blend chosen was “Torch.” This one comes up when it’s time to say goodbye to the old and welcome in the new, to let whatever we’re holding fall and create light with the flames as it burns.  A torch burns and creates light at the same time.

Here is the poem, from Scents of Knowing:


Consuming fire
fueled from doubts.
Held tight.
Precise fire. Burning.
Heart’s flame
The doubtless place.
the mystery
and the gift.

Wedding Bouquet Torch smaller

“My Body Knows who I am…”

A friend posted the other day about a problem with bullying that a teenage girl was experiencing.  She asked for advice and resources to help.

I was bullied as a girl, both physically and emotionally, and I reflected about what I have learned since then that I might share.  I remember with excruciating detail how it felt to be shouted at with insults and pushed to another seat on the bus.  One girl who tried to help me back then whispered, “Just show them you don’t care what they think.” This wasn’t bad advice–except I did care.  In fact, part of me suspected they were right.  And this was why I was a target in the first place.

As I was pondering these old memories, I suddenly had a flash image of cells in a bloodstream, being attacked by viruses.  How do our bodies ward off these “bullies”?

One of the lines in “My Body Knows” is “My body knows who I am.”  Yes!  Our bodies know who we are, and what belongs in us and what doesn’t.  When we’re healthy, our cells know what they’re supposed to do, and we have special cells, run by our immune system, whose function is to keep the integrity, to hold the space for each bit to do its job.

If there was any doubt in our immune systems about what belonged, the bullies would take over.

As the mother of two teenage daughters, I’ve had the privilege of observing this age group again, and one thing stands out now that I didn’t understand when I was in their shoes.  The kids who know who they are–and these are few and far between, in our culture of being told we should be different–can be teased and hassled just as mercilessly as the rest, but somehow, they aren’t as affected.  Of course, they don’t enjoy it, but they also don’t believe it.  They know who they are, they aren’t changing, and they aren’t apologizing.

Deep down inside, our bodies do know who we are.  There are no better guides.

More soon on how I am learning how to listen to my own body!

Animation Itself by Bill Brouard

“Animation Itself” by Bill Brouard, used by permission. See Visual Alchemy for more.


New Moon in Taurus–the Beginning of My Body Knows Blog

So, here we are, with the moon and sun both in Taurus, the ultimate sign for our bodies.  Feels like the perfect time to begin a blog with the theme “My Body Knows.”

Those of you who are into astrology probably know that today we have just experienced an extra-strong new moon, because it was also a partial solar eclipse.  A wonderful astrologer and friend wrote this morning:

Tonight and tomorrow–the sun and the moon are hanging together. Right now in the dark black sky, hiding so you can’t see either of them. It is called a double Taurus night plus there is an eclipse…shh, time to go in. Before you go to bed, think of a wish, a real one:
Like let there be world peace, no, that’s too big. How about: let me know love. That’s just easy. How about let me live the love of peace and sustain it no matter what life hands me. Good one.
Taurus the sign of stability and endurance. I want to love life no matter what fate dealt me. 
This is the best of Taurus–absolute loyalty. Like the northern star, Taurus is constant, never wavering from true devotion. A commitment to life no matter what cards have been dealt. Peaceful acceptance and sweet surrender…

Before I read these words this morning, I had already written to another friend:

Too often in my life, I have experienced my body as a hassle that interrupted my “real” life with its needs–and as I’ve grown older, I’ve come to the understanding that it’s actually the key to my intuition and a beloved support for my journey in this reality.

So, this topic is what I plan to explore here:  what does “My Body Knows” mean?

What does my body know?  
How do I know what it knows?  
How can I listen for its messages?
How do I feel about my body?
What is my experience of being in this body like?
How has this experience changed over time?

This morning, I’m full of questions.  And right now, my body says it’s time for some food.

To be continued 🙂

P.S.  I’m going to take part in a telesummit over the next three weeks that I want to share with you, because it looks like it will be wonderful: just follow this link for more info.


Here I Am

For Here I Am Blog

Okay, it’s time.

I’ve been talking about truly blogging for a very long time.  I don’t mean the kind of safe blogging I did up until now, which is some kind of formal reporting of events.  I mean speaking my mind, getting naked.

Normally I speak my blogs, to my daughters, my mother, my close friends…sometimes in response to questions during events or workshops.  This is okay, and yet, my energy isn’t as focused and creative as I have a hunch it will be in this medium.

I have many things to write about, and they will have to wait, because my first blog has already been written in response to something I just read online, via Facebook.  Here I go!

I love this. Thanks, Luz…and it’s interesting that it begins, “Someone dared me to write this.”

Why do we need to make excuses to express ourselves? I’ve read a few self-published books that are filled with “I am sharing this because the message is so important” or “People have urged me to write this down.” Perhaps because I have needed the same “permission slips” to show myself (to shine?!?) I am now sensitive to them when they come up.

Life is gorgeous and messy and, as far as I know, everyone here in human bodies deals with all kinds of emotions, desires, and conflicts. We also get to taste, touch, smell, see and hear a lot of magical beauty by being in these bodies. Sometimes can feel like a rotten tradeoff–until we consider the alternative.

I have no idea why I’m here…and I am, and I’m glad to be. What an adventure!


What a sweet evening we had in the Buddha Hall at Osho UTA last night…the group was small enough to feel quite intimate; in fact, I went around the room with the rose quartz heart bowl and played near everyone’s hearts, which is something I can’t do in bigger groups.

The essential oil blend we traveled with was:


Always there.
There always.
Comforting, filling,
The wind,
the sun,
rivers streams oceans.
Mountains of giving
in all ways.
Ease, the easiest.

Huge Tree!